When I Close My Eyes
by WriterChild
Summary: *NEW* Valkubus. Thought I'd wing it, because I'm bored and there aren't enough Lost Girl Fics. Bo/Kenzi friendship.
1. Those Dreams

_Tamsin stood still, her face changing, darkening._

_"Tamsin, fight it!" Bo screamed, leaping forward as familiar arms held her back, Dyson whispering words of reason in her ear, but the only thing Bo could hear was the faint whimpering of the woman just out of reach. "Please, please Tamsin, fight it.," she screamed, thrashing her body against the wolf._

_"Let me go, I have to save her. I love her!" Dyson's grip loosened as the room grew cold around them._

_"It's too late." Dyson took a step back, head bowed and demeanor small._

_She was gone, a pile of dust on the floor and discarded clothes were the only trace that she had been there at all._

* * *

"TAMSIN!" Bo screamed, her eyes shooting open to see Kenzi sitting on top of her, a leg on either side of Bo's hips.

Kenzi's head cocked and her eyes narrowed in thought. "Just me Bo Bo. You okay, you were moving a lot and calling Tamsin's name and are those tears?" She said, observing Bo's face and wet eyelashes. "Must have been some dream?" Kenzi asked, leaving the question open ended as she rolled herself off of Bo and repostioned herself on the end of the couch.

"Sorry I missed our movie," Bo said looking at the discarded bowl of popcorn and end credits of a movie rolling on the screen. "Yeah, crazy dream, Tamsin, she died or disintegrated." Her words were slow and unsure as Bo ran a hand through her hair, her mind still processing. "I've been-"

"Having a lot of Tamsin dreams lately?" Kenzi mocked. "So I've heard, some seem better and more fun than others, huh?" Bo buried her head in her hands and Kenzi laughed it off. "Succubusted."

"Kenzi what does it mean? Why do I see her everytime I close my eyes?" Bo asked honestly as she got up off the couch, Kenzi following the motion as Bo headed for the fridge, her mind set on Plenty O'Pecans ice cream. "She's dying, she's really dying Kenzi. Why did she have to come to me now? God, she's such a pain in the ass."

Digging out two spoons, Kenzi handed one to Bo and dug in to the creamy goodness waiting for her. "You lurve her, more than that, you want that 'R' in lurve to stand for relationship. You totally jumped on the Valkyrie wagon, you want to doubt that love all night long. See what I did there?"

"Really, Kenzi? Doubt that love all night long? You still working on getting that mojo of yours back?" Bo looked up and Kenzi smiled half-heartedly, they tried not to talk about it. Kenzi wouldn't and Bo was at loss. So Inari still stayed out of conversation for the most part. "Anyways, I don't lurve her, I lurve Lauren. Or I lurved Lauren? I don't know, everything is so, crazy right now."

"No_ Fae'in_ way! Crazy in Faeville?" Kenzi exasperated, hand to her chest in fake shock.

"Kenzi, seriously," Bo said, trying not to fold at Kenzi's every hilarious anecdote. "What am I going to do about Tamsin?"

"You cou-"

"Try talking to Tamsin about it." A voice interrupted, causing Bo and Kenzi both to whip around, Bo grabbing for the axe, Kenzi the sword as the blonde haired woman stared them down.

"Tamsin- Hi- How-" Bo said surprised and worried how much Tamsin had heard. Bo dropped her weapon and straighted her hair and clothes as she stepped a little towards Tamsin, who walked past her and began to rummage through the cupboards. "How are you? How'd you get in here? Are you okay? Are you hungry? Is Dyson okay? Trick?-"

"Woah Bo Bo, one question for the dying Fae at time, gotta keep her strength up for incase your dreams come true. By the way smooth moves, I saw you almost trip over the stool as you fixed your shirt, which by the way, you spilled ice cream on." Kenzi half whispered as collected some snacks from the cupboard behind Bo. "Anyways, you two kids have fun, condoms are in the dra- wait, nevermind." Kenzi made her way out of the room after recieving a slap on the arm from Bo and a glare from the Valkyrie.

Bo turned and watched Tamsin, silent as the woman went about her own in the kitchen at the clubhouse. "Let's talk about those dreams?" Tamsin said eyeing Bo curiously as she made herself comfortable, with a bowl of cereal and the morning paper.

* * *

Honestly have no idea why I just wrote this. Blame Rana for Valkubus feels.

Also totally didn't spell check this, cause..


	2. The Length Of Love

**Tamsin POV -**

"Let's talk about those dreams." I said it nonchalantly, cool, like I didn't even care, but I did. Bo looked at me with caution and I set my spoon in my bowl and stood up. I eyed the woman in front of me and lost myself in my memory, but the way her eyes flashed, I knew she was there too.

_"Where do you get off being so perfect? You think you've seen everything. And then you see you." _

_She looked at me, with a curiosity, I could hear her heart beating, but her outside remained calm. "I'm alright, but I'm not perfect." She spoke as though she meant her words, but I knew them to be lies, her humble virtue almost brought me to tears as I slid myself forward and looked deep into her eyes. _

_"Yes you are, to me you are. Your eyes are both brown and blue." _

_She asked what I was doing, but I was in a trance, I couldn't stop myself, the words came out like I'd been holding them in since before I knew she existed. "Your heart is both strong and gentle, I lightly placed my finger tips against her wet skin. "Your virtuous, yet your a Succubus," confusion clouded my mind and I knew it was showing on my face. _

_You shouldn't be," I finally breathed out. _

_Her eyes hardened, "Be what?" _

_"Be real. Be here."_

"You broke my heart, you know?" I said with a tone unsure to myself.

"How? I barely know you, you're the one that keeps showing up," she was defensive, she always was, it was as though she was playing hard to get. Or maybe her scars were really deeper than they seemed.

I laughed, she was right, she didn't know me, I'd lived many lives before she was even born. "You're right, but I know you, your kind, your type."

"You know more Succubus'?" Bo mused.

I almost laughed. Almost. "No, but I know your love, it's shared and I've been on the end before. You make people want you, then you ruin them. I've been there with you. I've been there once before. I'd rather live and die a thousand times than feel the hurt of heart you are capable of making people feel."

She looked at me, stuck, unsure how to respond as she stepped forward and ran her long fingers through her messy morning hair. She looked beautiful, but I was intent on what I doing, though I knew it dangerous. "How did I break your heart?" She questioned.

"You stopped kissing me." I replied, eyes on the ground as a sudden burst of doubt filled my own mind as though I'd turned on myself. "In Brazenwood."

"And you didn't want me to stop?" She placed her hands around my waist and pulled me close, our hipbones pressed together.

"We can't." I choked and she questioned me why with her facial expression and a small tilt of her head. "I've done this, fallen in love, I can't. Not with you, not with someone who could easily break my heart. Not when I know I haven't much of this lifetime left to spare."

I moved her hands from waist and stepped back, prepared to leave when a memory rushed over me.

She was shorter than me with dark hair and dark eyes, a Valkyrie like me. We met in school, we were young but we were in love. Her name was Rana, she taught me to love myself, even through the dark days. We spent many lifetimes, leaving one another and returning to eachother's arms.

I thought of Bo's Chi and the rush we had that day in the forest and my mind flashed to Rana, before Bo no one had ever left me with that spark. That feeling.

Rana was a long time ago, she went one day and never returned, not really. Her body was buried centuries ago in a spot that is engraved in my mind. My heart. And I know that there is no room left for Bo, because I have no where else to put the hurt.

I snap out of it when I feel Bo's skin against mine, like electricity. My eyes attach themselves to her and it feels like she's begging as she pulls me in and our mouths collide. "I can't lose you," she mumbles against my lips and I feel myself losing my front as I melt into her.

**Bo POV -**

I wake in the morning, rested. It's the first night in a long while that hasn't been filled with terror and the reason is clear as I see Tamsin making her way out of my room and down my hall. She's wearing my Kimono and nothing underneath. Her hair is down, wavy and messy, a reminder of our night.

I sit up and laugh as I see Kenzi tip toe down the same hall and I know she will have words with my about letting my friends hog our bathroom and how I should really be sure to let them know where the toothpaste is when I show them the bathroom.

"Good morning," Tamsin says as she leans against my door frame, arms folded. "I was gonna try and sneak out without any notice, but since your awake and your human is awake watching cartoons, I see that's not going to happen."

I shake my head and look up, patting the empty spot next to me on the bed. "What if I ask you to stay?"

"What if I can't?"

"I don't believe you?"

"I think I love you."

"I think I love you too"

I watched her make her way back to the bed and smiled as she crawled under the covers and curled into my side. "You're not as tough as you like to make yourself out to be," I whispered.

"I was sent here to do something. Not here, now. As in, I was sent to-"

"I know." I cut her off, I didn't want to have the conversation now. "You won't though, I know you won't"

"It's not that I won't it's that I can't, the place you hold in my heart, is more powerful than any doubt I've ever conjured." Tamsin whispered as she pushed herself up and straddled my hips.

I ran my hands up her thighs and watched her slowly lean her head back as she grinded against me and in that moment all I could think, was I hope Kenzi doesn't mind having to turn up the volume on the TV.

* * *

I seriously have no idea what I am doing guys.

Forgive me.

Why am I doing this again?


End file.
